Fiction Writing: Showing vs. Telling

Petar Milošević, CC BY-SA 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
Master the art of engaging storytelling with vivid imagery and emotional depth.

Introduction: Why “Show, Don’t Tell” Matters in Writing

“Show, don’t tell” is one of the most repeated — and most misunderstood — principles in writing. 

New writers often hear it without fully understanding why it matters or how to apply it correctly. The result is either overly blunt prose (too much telling) or overwritten scenes drowning in unnecessary description (too much showing).

At its core, showing vs. telling is about reader experience.

  • Telling delivers information directly to the reader.

  • Showing allows the reader to discover information through sensory details, action, dialogue, and implication.

Readers don’t want to be informed — they want to feel. Showing transforms writing from passive consumption into an active emotional experience.

This article provides:

  • A clear explanation of showing vs. telling

  • 25 detailed paired examples (telling + showing)

  • An exploration of why each showing example works

  • Techniques you can apply immediately

  • Practice exercises to strengthen your skills

Whether you write fiction, memoir, creative nonfiction, or narrative blog content, mastering this technique will dramatically improve your writing.

What Is “Telling” in Writing?

Telling occurs when the writer states facts, emotions, or conclusions outright.

Examples of telling language:

  • “She was angry.”

  • “The town was depressing.”

  • “He felt nervous before the interview.”

Telling is not inherently wrong. In fact, it is sometimes necessary — especially in nonfiction, summaries, transitions, or pacing moments. However, overreliance on telling weakens immersion.

Telling keeps readers at arm’s length.

What Is “Showing” in Writing?

Showing uses concrete details to allow readers to infer meaning on their own.

Instead of labeling emotions or traits, the writer presents:

  • Physical reactions

  • Sensory information

  • Behavior and body language

  • Dialogue

  • Symbolic details

Showing respects the reader’s intelligence and creates a deeper emotional connection.

The President's Office of the Republic of Maldives,
 CC BY 4.0, via Wikimedia Commons
The Psychological Impact of Showing vs. Telling

Research in cognitive psychology suggests that readers process sensory imagery differently than abstract information. When you show, the reader’s brain activates regions associated with sight, sound, and emotion — making the experience more vivid and memorable.

In other words:
Showing doesn’t just describe emotion — it recreates it.

25 Examples of Showing vs. Telling 

Each example below includes:

  • A telling sentence

  • A showing rewrite

  • A short explanation of why the showing version works

1. Anger

Telling:
She was angry.

Showing:
She shoved the chair back, the legs screeching across the floor, and spoke through clenched teeth.

Why it works:
Anger is conveyed through sound, movement, and tension — no emotional label needed.

2. Nervousness

Telling:
Tim was nervous.

Showing:
Tim’s foot bounced beneath the table as he checked his phone for the third time in a minute.

Why it works:
Repetitive, restless motion signals anxiety naturally.

3. Cold Weather

Telling:
It was very cold outside.

Showing:
The wind sliced through her coat, and her fingers went numb before she reached the corner.

Why it works:
Physical sensation replaces a generic adjective.

4. Sadness

Telling:
He felt sad.

Showing:
He sat on the edge of the bed long after the room went dark, staring at the floor where her shoes used to be.

Why it works:
Stillness and absence communicate grief more powerfully than naming it.

5. Confidence

Telling:
She was confident about her speech.

Showing:
She stepped onto the stage without notes, smiled at the crowd, and began.

Why it works:
Actions demonstrate internal certainty.

6. Fear

Telling:
The child was afraid.

Showing:
He froze at the doorway, breath shallow, eyes fixed on the shadows shifting along the wall.

Why it works:
Fear appears through hesitation and heightened awareness.

7. Boredom

Telling:
She was bored in class.

Showing:
She traced the same circle in the margin of her notebook until the paper tore.

Why it works:
Mindless repetition reflects disengagement.

8. Wealth

Telling:
The family was rich.

Showing:
Their driveway curved past a fountain, and the garage doors lifted to reveal cars she’d only seen in magazines.

Why it works:
Material details allow readers to infer wealth.

9. Exhaustion

Telling:
He was exhausted.

Showing:
He missed the last step and sat down hard, too tired to care.

Why it works:
Loss of coordination and apathy reveal fatigue.

10. Attraction

Telling:
She found him attractive.

Showing:
Her gaze lingered a moment too long, and she forgot what she’d been about to say.

Why it works:
Distraction and hesitation signal attraction.

11. Surprise

Telling:
He was surprised by the news.

Showing:
He laughed once — sharp and disbelieving — then went quiet.

Why it works:
Emotional processing unfolds naturally.

12. Hostility

Telling:
They disliked each other.

Showing:
Every exchange ended in silence, words clipped and eyes hard.

Why it works:
Tension appears in dialogue rhythm and body language.

13. Love

Telling:
She loved her sister.

Showing:
She waited in the rain for an hour, refusing to leave until the porch light came on.

Why it works:
Sacrifice and patience imply love.

14. Disgust

Telling:
He was disgusted by the smell.

Showing:
He gagged and stepped back, pulling his shirt over his nose.

Why it works:
Immediate physical reaction communicates revulsion.

15. Curiosity

Telling:
The boy was curious about the noise.

Showing:
He crept closer, head tilted, listening for it again.

Why it works:
Approach behavior signals curiosity.

16. Regret

Telling:
She regretted her decision.

Showing:
She reread the message, thumb hovering over the screen, then locked the phone.

Why it works:
Hesitation and avoidance reflect regret.

17. Excitement

Telling:
He was excited about the trip.

Showing:
He packed three days early and checked the forecast every morning.

Why it works:
Preparation and anticipation reveal excitement.

18. Pain

Telling:
She was in pain.

Showing:
Her breath hitched, and she pressed her hand to her side, teeth clenched.

Why it works:
Involuntary responses show suffering.

19. Embarrassment

Telling:
He felt embarrassed.

Showing:
Heat crept up his neck as he stared at his shoes.

Why it works:
Blushing and avoidance are universal signals.

20. Greed

Telling:
The man was greedy.

Showing:
He smiled warmly while quietly counting the cash again.

Why it works:
Contradiction between behavior and intent reveals character.

21. Jealousy

Telling:
She was jealous.

Showing:
Her compliments sounded thin, and she avoided looking at them together.

Why it works:
Subtle emotional restraint signals jealousy.

22. Pride

Telling:
He was proud of his work.

Showing:
He paused beside the framed certificate every time he passed.

Why it works:
Repeated attention shows pride without stating it.

23. Confusion

Telling:
She was confused by the instructions.

Showing:
She read the page again, brow furrowed, then flipped back to the start.

Why it works:
Repetition and hesitation illustrate confusion.

24. Loneliness

Telling:
The apartment felt lonely.

Showing:
The television hummed to an empty couch, and no one answered when she spoke aloud.

Why it works:
Silence and absence create emotional space.

25. Hope

Telling:
He felt hopeful about the future.

Showing:
He set his alarm early and laid out clean clothes for the morning.

Why it works:
Forward-looking behavior implies hope.

When Telling Is Actually Better

Despite the emphasis on showing, telling has its place:

  • Transitions between scenes

  • Summarizing unimportant events

  • Conveying factual information

  • Maintaining pacing

Good writing balances both.

Techniques for Turning Telling Into Showing

1. Replace Adjectives With Actions

Instead of “angry,” show slammed doors, clipped speech, tightened fists.

2. Use the Five Senses

Sight, sound, smell, taste, touch — even one sensory detail improves immersion.

3. Let Dialogue Do the Work

People rarely say exactly how they feel — let subtext speak.

4. Focus on Small, Specific Details

Specificity feels real; vagueness feels distant.

Practice Exercises

Rewrite these telling sentences as showing scenes:

  1. She was impatient.

  2. The room was messy.

  3. He felt relieved.

  4. The storm was frightening.

  5. The goodbye was emotional.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Overloading descriptions

  • Forcing metaphors

  • Explaining what’s already obvious

  • Repeating emotional cues

Trust the reader.

Conclusion: Mastery Comes With Practice

Showing instead of telling is not about eliminating telling — it’s about choosing the moments that deserve emotional depth. The more you practice translating abstract ideas into concrete experiences, the more powerful your writing becomes.

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